well whats been happening?

Not much really. Went to bingo Thursday and today, won £340 on Thursday and £135 tonight, so time evrythings halfed with respective bingo buddies I had £240 for me. Bough stuff for the house and took Paul to lunch, bought some stuff at the My Ruin gig on Friday night and still have £50 left. Not bad for 2 days before payday.

Went to docs got a row for not seeing her sooner as have ran out of antidepressants. Aside from some irrational violence and weepiness I dont think the cold turkey part was too bad. Imsure Paul would disagree as he says that I have been somewhat "more irrational and psycho of late". So back on the pills

Talking of which myPCOS has been getting worse I think. Although my skin has started to clare up given this new pill, the hunger/insulin response isnt improving neithe is the histuism. Which sucks. The doc says that she wants me to stay on this new pill for at least another 2 years. Which means that I'll be 26 before I even think about trying for a babay. If I ever can. The only way that they can assess how bad my fertility is at the moment is to get me andPaul to try just now, and then what? So we've decided to pass on that at the moment.

The other thing is, before it was me who wanted to have kids someday and Paul who wasnt sure, now theres a distinct possibility I cant have any at all, ever and its Paul who wants them now, especially the more time he spends around friends kids. What if i cant, ever and he decides he wants kids more than me? What if just me and him isnt enough for him?

Ah what ifs....