IDIOT ALERT! DANGER WILL ROBINSON!

"Hello Marri-Louise. Can you tell us what preperation you have made for today?"

"I'm sorry I don't understand the question"
"How have you prepared for today"
"Well I ironed my clothes. Seriously I took a "dry run" on the bus a few days before to know where I was going, how I would get there and factored in some extra traffic time. I made a back up plan in case the bus didn't show."
"Did you practice any questions?"
"No. Not because I'm unconcerned about the interview but because when I rehearse or plan I tend to sound scripted. The result of that is that I think it's hard to come across as enthusiastic about something if you have been learning it by rote for the past few weeks and I would like you to see my answers, hopefully like them but also recognise the enthusiasm and passion I have for this area."

Which was a bit of a lie.
So. Planned my answer to the question about "Why do you want to be a nurse?" as its the only one that I could be confident they would ask.

Decided that they would like to hear about how I have weighed up the profession, was aware of the low status, difficulties dealing with difficult patients, but I felt it was a rewarding career rather than a job, scope for progression and lifelong learning due to constant changes and advances in care. I felt that no two days would be the same, wide variety of work, and an opportunity for personal growth within an ever expanding and redefining itself sector.

So they ask me.

I freeze

" I want to be a nurse because I feel on a personal level I can make a difference. I deeply care about people, I empathise with them and if I can make them better or even make them more comfortable by providing care then it's what I'm going to aim for. Its because I care passionately about this and the people I'd be caring for that I want to be a nurse"

This folks is why I'm a fucktard . But it gets better. Oh yes, because their next question was "Well if you care that much why haven't you pursued a career in a care environment on the past 7 years as a care assistant?". Here is where I excel myself.

"Well I'll be honest because I think that you would value the honesty and I'm a rotten liar. The money. Care Assistant's don't get paid enough, and as the full theory behind me finding a job full time was that I would be saving money to come back here, and as my husband was in and out of work at the time £10K a year wasn't going to pay for rent, bills, support both of us at time and facilitate saving to come back. So I had a choice to make, and that was take a higher paid job for a reduced length of time and save quicker, or a lower paid job, which although I would enjoy, wouldn't pay enough and it would take me longer to return to university. Them life got in the way. We got a mortgage, we moved house and we got married, but even though I got sidetracked I never lost sight of the end result, which was to save the £5K needed to return to nursing. I'm here now and I'm proud of that"

At the time just couldn't stop yapping. And now I've convinced myself that that I have fucked the entire thing up. I'm an idiot. A complete fucking idiot.