Life bites me in the arse. . .

Just back from the doctors and I feel really down at the moment.

Have been told that I should be trying for a baby now, not delaying like I was until I was going to be 29-30. She said that I should even be contacting the uni to ask for a deferrment for a year or two to try and have a baby then start my course, and certainly not delay having any kids to anything past 28. As I am damaging my fertlity by waiting, apparently my PCOS is not helped by waiting

I said I can't as going back to uni in Feb, and its a 3 year course. She then asked what I would like more, a family or a career. I answered honestly at this point a career, Im not ready for a baby. She said then that fertility treatment is looking likely as my PCOS will be worse.

I dont know how to feel at the moment, other than really down. I'm so tired of this. I'm just so sick of it all at the moment. I want to go home from work, curl up in bed and cry for a bit. I want both but its looking like I'm going to have to choose one or the other. We're swaying towards baby, but I'm so unhappy in work I can't stay here either and theres also the practical implications too.

I wish things were simple again. I wish my stupid body didnt betray me and that this hadnt come at a time of year where it would be the birthday of a baby I'd miscarried.

Ironic eh?