That somethings missing, or lacking and you just can't put your finger on it? You just know you're not where you should be? You feel restless and frustrated and you have no idea at what?
I find myself increasingly yearning for days gone by, which is unlike me, I'm mostly of the opinion that there's no point worrying about whats been, you can't change it, take whats happened and move on. So why am I harking for what has gone? I'm not even harking, it nostalgia more than anything I think. I mean I'll talk about things gone by but I generally try not to sweat the small stuff. Just now, I'm sweating the small stuff.
Feeling a bit broody and strangely weepy. Again not like me. I don't know whats going on, if I'm just a wee bit unsettled. I don't even want to argue with Paul (if there is something to argue about) just in case its the last thing we ever say to each other and its in anger. I don't know if its because of all the medical stuff thats going on at the moment (and what I'm learning) that I'm panicking it could happen. I'm obsessed that he might die and I'll be left. Alone. I'm not even harping on about the problems that we have been having, just in case, its the last discussion that we have and its the last memory he might have of me before he gets hit by a bus.
Like I say I have no idea whats wrong at the moment. I just know somethings not right and I don't know what the fuck it is. I think I might be ever so batshit crazy.
In other news, UPDATE YOUR FUCKING BLOGS.
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