There are no words...

Just been woken up this morning at 7:30 or there abouts by a woman screaming. Thought I was dreaming initially, but opened eyes and the was still screaming. And banging. And a mans voice shouting.

Then the screaming turned into "God no! Noooo! Someone help me. Please HELP me!" and she remained screaming "help me!" over and over again whilst I was window hanging and trying to work out where its coming from phone in hand. Getting dressed at same time, lifting a pair of latex gloves and mouth protector just in case. She's still desperately pleading "Help me" and by this point he's shouting "shut up". A baby starts wailing, and then a door slams. Everything goes quiet.

Debate to run out front door to see where the guys left from, or out the back to check a close door or two and see if I can hear anything from inside a flat.

Run out the back door in bare feet. Silence. Dead Silence. I can't even hear a baby crying anymore.

Wait for about 20 minutes outside, checking the odd close, and then come back in.

I'm shaking. I don't even know why I'm writing this here. Oh dear Jesus. I've only ever heard a few people plead like that. One was my mum. Its the pleading of a woman hoping against hope that someone, anyone, will come. This time will be the last time. Maybe this time was the last time. Its the crying of absolute dejection and misery and then pretending to the neighbours that the marks on your neck are love bites, and not where your husbands tried to strangle you. Its the not even using make up to cover up your mangled face because there is no point.

Oh Christ I'm a mess. I feel so guilty and yet there was nothing I could do. I wonder if she and her baby are okay. I hope they are. All I can still hear is "Help me. Please help me" in my head. There are no words to express just how shaken I am at the moment.

Going for a shower and a cup of tea. And a valium. I won't be able to sleep now for the rest of the day.