I've had it

Seriously, Its all so fucking pointless. I've rode the storm all I can, and theres no fight left in me to hang on anymore on my own. It's coming to an end shortly now. I am yet again, alone in all things, and theres not really much I can do anymore.

There might be but I don't know if I can, I dont know if I am wanted to do anything anymore.

I sitting here alone, typing about being alone, to a blog no-one reads. Can it really get any more lonley than this?

I'm going to explode if I don't get out. I'm just going to lose it. Banging my head off a brick wall trying to connect, trying to explain, trying to just GET IT THROUGH. Nothing seems to be working anymore and I don't know what I'm doing wrong, or right. I don't know which way is up. I'm being made to jump through hoops for no reward.

I just don't know what to do anymore. I'm past bravado, I'm past anger and I'm past depair. I have now officially reached Lost. Population 1.

how does one arrange an introduction?

Either way its looking like a forgone conclusion now. "I don't know" repeatedly is wearing a bit thin and I'm utterly fed up.

Here we go again

It seems that we are back to "this" again. Fine.

Grin and bear it, or pack up and leave. Maybe aI should do a poll?

Whatever

Stoled from Semp

60 things about me, many of which you probably knew already.

1. What is in the back seat of your car right now?
I don't have a car. Next.

2. When was the last time you threw up?
This morning. And everyother day this week.

3. Whats your favorite curse word?
Fuck. Shite or Arse also appear regularly

4. Name 3 people who made you smile today?
I'll go with yesterday as today is only just happening, so Paul, Lexie and Mum.

5. What were you doing at 8 am this morning?
Sleeping

6. What were you doing 30 minutes ago?
Drinking coffee

8. Have you ever been to a strip club?
Nope

9. What is the last thing you said aloud?
Helllo! We goin' a walk? Go get your leash

10. What is the best ice cream flavor?
Not right keen on Ice cream, but if I had to pick, Mint.

11.What was the last thing you had to drink?
Coffee, white with 1 sweetner.

12. What are you wearing right now?
A towel.

13. What was the last thing you ate?
A milk choc digestive

14. Have you bought any new clothing items this week?
No. No I haven't.

15. When was the last time you ran?
Yestaerday whilt trying to catch the dog who dont a "boady" whilst off her leash.

16. Whats the last sporting event you watched?
Worlds strongest man.

18. Who is the last person to whom you sent a comment/message on myspace?
I dont have a myspace?

19. Ever go camping?
Nope

20. Do you have a tan?
Nope, dont tan.

24. Do you drink your soda from a straw?
Yes, makes it last longer.

25. What did your last text message say?
Your Orange just talk account had £0.34 remaing, to top up...

25. Are you someone's best friend?
I don't know. I'm pretty removed. I have friends but I don't know if I'm anoyines best friend unless you count Paul

27. What are you doing tomorrow?
Lie in. Knitting. Watching Sharpe

28. Where is your Mum right now?
Dunno

29. Look to your left, what do you see?
Radiator, mirror, wall

30. What colour is your watch?
Marquesite/silver. When I wear it.

31. What do you think of when you think of Australia?
Big, underpopulated and racist.

32. Ever ridden on a roller coaster?
Whooooo yup.

33. What is your birthstone?
Dunno. Garnet or amethyst I think. January anyway

34. Do you go in at a fast food place or just hit the drive thru?
Go in as cant go through drive through. I did once hail a taxi and drive that through though.

35. Do you have any friends on myspace that you actually hate?
no my space

36. Do you have a dog?
Yep, Lexie. She a pain in teh ass.

37. Last person you talked to on the phone?
Pauls mum.

38. Have you met anyone famous?
Beyond the odd band. author no, no-one of stratospheric fame

39. Any plans today?
Yup, get dressed and away for a facial

40. How many states have you lived in?
Scotland and thats it

41. Ever go to college?
yup.

42. Where are you right now?
In my living room, sitting in front of the his 'n' hers computers.

44. Last song listened to?
Korn - Coming undone. Not my pick btw

46. Are you allergic to anything?
Elastoplast. Make me itchy

47. Favorite pair of shoes you wear all the time?
MBT's

48. Are you jealous of anyone?
Sometimes

50. Is anyone jealous of you?
I'd be very surprised if they were.

51. What time is it?
11:17

52. Do any of your friends have children?
Several of them do.

53. Do you eat healthy?
I try. Dieting as we speak. Generally yeas, I just eat too damn much

54. What do you usually do during the day?
Work, surprisingly enough.

55. Do you hate anyone right now?
No.

56. Do you use the word hello daily?
Yes a great big overly cheerful trilling "Helllooooo" at work to everyone I pass. If my time at works fucking miserable so should thiers be.

58. How old will you be turning on your next birthday?
26

59. Have you ever been to Six Flags?
No. I don't even know what it is

60. How did you get one of your scars?
I fell against a door runner splitting my face open. My nose is still scarred.
the one above my eyebrown where my mum punched me.

Xmas preperation begins in earnest

RSI and knitting a Paul sized Xmas gift
	so do not combine. My hands are really painful, and my biceps are sore from the weight of said Paul Xmas gift. Can't post what it is, but may well start a knitting blog. Dunno if I can be bothered being that crafty at the moment. Away to take some more painkillers and nurse my wounded wifely hands. Oh the humanity! Knitting a wee jumper and hat for Lee, will endevour to get finished asap. Dunno wether to go for a pattern or cosiness factor. Im going to hedge of cosiness factor I think so its going to be high necked ribbed number I think.